Tuesday, April 6, 2010


I've had an idea.

For a vampire movie.

Seriously, I can't believe nobody has thought of it before - dialysis patients could totally cash in on this genre of film that is elevating teen hormones across the globe.

The plot is still a little sketchy, but the gist of it is:

Vampires are taking over the world - the thousands of screaming girls wearing t-shirts with the slogan 'Bite me Edward' get their wish and go the same way as Bella Swan, thus creating a pandemic that over-runs the world in a way that Swine Flu just didn't.

Authorities are on their knees. Horny adolescents everywhere are turning into blood-sucking monsters and there seems to be no way of killing them (sharpened stakes are ordered, but Amnesty International protests and the whole thing gets caught up in the courts).

Enter the dialysis patients of the world. They are called upon to stop this deadly curse. How? They are 'planted' by governments in the areas populated by the young beasts. As every Twilight fan knows, the newbie vampire is insatiable and ill-disciplined. They smell this new scent of blood and are curious.

They pounce, they can't help themselves, but just a few drops of the toxic blood is fatal to them. They die instantly and the dialysis patient moves on to the next pack to carry on his/her patriotic work. The dialysis patient becomes a little anaemic at the loss of some blood (cue scene where the bloodied, heroic patient slumps into a safe-house somewhere, knots a dirty kerchief around his/her arm and shoots up with some EPO before moving on).

The film ends with plaudits, presidential awards and every dialysis patient being granted a transplant from citizens, so grateful at not living in fear anymore that they are willing to part with an organ for the new heroes of society.

The End


  1. Any chance you can get their kidneys just as they bite you? There could be something in this. I need to go off and have a think.

  2. Holemaster,
    I did consider such a twist. It could allow for a sequel. The vampire kidney begins to mutate within the transplant recipient - it provides confirmation to scientists at long last of the existence and effect of molecular and cellular memory transfer...the recipient begins to mimic the behaviour of the organ 'donor'.

  3. Hi Regina,

    I just wanted to tell you how much I am enjoying your blog. In fact I have "This Limbo" saved as a homepage and have been a fan of your posts from when I read the "Irish Times" article. Whilst I am sure that your primary concen is not collecting fans, I simply wanted to tell you that I look forward to your next posts on a daily basis.

    Keep up the the great work, I am confident you will win through.

    Best regards,


  4. You fool!!! You should keep such money spinning ideas to yourself. In a year's time I'm going to see 'Brendan 2' in the cinema with ne'er a royalty going to you.

  5. Patrick - it's all about collecting fans! Honestly, I'm so new to this blogging world, it still feels a bit strange sometimes when you're not entirely sure if anyone is actually reading what you're scribbling, so thanks for that bit of encouragement!

    Radge - I see your point. I let my excitement supersede good sense. Same thing happened when I had that idea to make a movie about a scientist father accidentally shrinking his children

  6. Oh I remember that one... Honey I Shrunk The Titanic or something.

  7. Hi Regina,

    Checking out your latest post seems to have become part of my 'internet routine' too, this follower is fast becoming a fan - maybe there's a market for "This-Limbo" t-shirts :-)

  8. Brian - I love the t-shirt idea! Merchandise is where the real money is to be made:-)